Siriusly Riddikulus
by DiscombobulatedDrummer
Summary: The Marauders' in the weirdest places. Muggle band busses, schools, auditoriums...what could they possibly talk about? Floo powder and other odd things. Funny..... NOW CHAPTER 7!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** My friend and I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters in the story. REMUS! rocking back and forth So please do not sue us. We haven't any money. Darn the government! pouts 

**Author's Beginning notes:** My friend and I both wrote this on the way to Cordele for a football game. And you wonder what you can do for 2 and a half hours….. Yeah, we both were "tripping out" writing this. We both hope all of you like it. And as a warning there is **NO SLASH INTENDED!** It's just a very funny story. So here are the notes of Remus Lupin and Sirius Black on the band bus to Cordele. (Don't ask why they are in the band. Just humor us.)

**-SIRIUSLY RIDDIKULUS-**

(The first 15 minutes on the number 7 band bus)

Sirius:Hey sexy beast! I just wondered what you are doing. Well write me back.

Remus:Hey mate! I'm just trying to write a story. Oh Merlin, it's hard to write on muggle transportation. This stupid pen hates me. I like quills.

Sirius: I agree. So what do you wanna talk about?

Remus: Not killing trees by using unnecessary lines on muggle paper….grrr…..

Sirius: So that's the muggle's worries not our's. We can make paper appear with "a flick of a wand"  
Let's talk about….FLOO POWDER! You know you wanna! (wink wink)

Remus: FLOO! WE FLOO AWAY! I wonder which is worse floo or weed? Muggles say weed is very addictive. I wonder…..

Sirius: Don't do it Remy! DO NOT DO IT! (snatches "weed" away from Remus) Bad wolfie!

Remus: Awww! (someone hands Remus and Sirius food.) At least I have chicken!

Sirius: Me too! I hate this retainer. sniffles (Apparently Sirius had braces)

Remus: Yes you are! SNIFFLES!

Sirius: SNUFFLES!

Remus: These muggles are weird. (hearing bad singing in the background)

Sirius: Aye! Especially the odd things on their heads (earphones) that make them…..they call it singing I call it noise.

Remus: But I hear that when you take a shower. Someone likes to hear himself sing.

Sirius: I happen to have a lovely singing voice. You're just jealous! HA!

Remus: Ha! Ha! NO! I beg to differ.

Sirius: Whatever…..

Remus: Shut up. You are acting like a muggle!

Sirius: I'm appalled! You're more of a muggle that me and you know it! (Angry vibes) GO AWAY! I don't love you anymore!

Remus: How am I more of a muggle than you? Who's addicted to that computer game…the Semes? No, the SIMS!

Sirius: Gawd, you can't spell. Dude, can you just imagine when we go to Orlando? (giggles with happiness at the thought)

Remus: I'm scared! Orlando plus us equals TROUBLE….. (giggles over a new sheet of paper Sirius hands to him)

Sirius: You have trouble because of how you get excited over a piece of paper…Dang mate, may Merlin be with your poor soul. Umm….while we're in the same seat….can I poke you?

Remus: Sure why not. Just don't make it a habit.

(POKE)

Remus: No the pokiness!

Sirius You made me a happy dog. big smile

Remus: You know it! same big smile

Sirius: (wink wink…nudge nudge)

Remus: (blank stare)

Sirius: Never mind….I'm bored. yawn

Remus: Really? You sure have a short attention "spane." (intentionally spelled wrong, it's span.)

Sirius: Still can't spell…Muggles make me want to pull out my beautiful hair.

Remus: Beautiful hair! HA! I think Snivellus bit me. pointing to two sores on arm Stupid muggles with their mosquitoes!

Sirius: Gosh, Moony, and here I was thinking you were the smart one….our paper is pretty.

Remus: Yes, well muggles surrounding me isn't helping. (sighs) It's also lovely with your beautiful handwriting. Sirius, I though I might change to another piece of paper. (sigh) I wonder what made Dumbledore so upset that he sent us here.

Sirius: One to many dunkings of Snivelly into the toilet? Honestly, we're doing him a favor.

Remus: Who a favor…Dumbledore? You are! I haven't disobeyed orders like some people I know….

Sirius: Who me? No….we were doing Snape a favor by washing his hair….that chemistry dork really ought to make use of his chemicals and make himself some descent shampoo.

Remus: That's true, but still…I can't say anything. I helped….hell I told you the location of the "secret" bathrooms.

Sirius: shakes head Dang it. Now I have to take out my retainer to eat muggle candy, You know I'm wondering….. (someone hands Remus and Sirius 2 Blow Pops)

Remus: Wondering about what? Where we are going? (biting sucker)

Sirius: You already bit your sucker! Sheesh….anyways…I was wondering why we are writing back and forth when we're sitting next to each other?

Remus: What we want to say is to embarrassing to say in person.

Sirius: Guess you're not man enough to express your feelings to me….pretending to cry

Remus: Man enough? Who has the inner beast? HUH! Who?

Sirius: Gee I guess, I've been proved wrong since you wrote your little furry problem on paper.

Remus: Darn you! evil glare Well, you know a lot about my "bunny?" (wink wink)

Sirius: Yes, your bunny is very cute in an evil sort of way.

Remus: (G-R-O-W-L)

Sirius: Not what I meant…..besides my dog is cuter….

Remus: This is odd……I'm confused scratching head….Ah well, I don't really know what my bunny looks like, but your dog is a little "grungy" looking. (marks on Sirius' hand with the pen)

Sirius: My beautiful paw has been marked on! Short cuts are lame! Pretty brick wall to the left. (looking out window)

Remus: You are sad.

Sirius: No, I'm gay.

Remus: Yup…(as in happy I hope.)…..But I know you.

Sirius: Gross man! Of course I meant as in "happy!" I love the ladies, but not as much as the love me!

Remus: O-K……I suppose so. They do love you.

Sirius: I know (big smile) You're a knanigit.

Remus: Whatever…..(rolls eyes)

Sirius: I'm bored now……

**( Only 2 more hours to go too...)**

**

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****Author's ending notes:**

Well, I hope everyone enjoyed it. I know it was probably pretty odd, but that's band people for you, right? I mean me (a drummer) and my friend ( a clarinetist) that is a very crazy combination for a story like this. Oh well:P We both really had a fun time writing this. Well, please review….you know you see that small button on the bottom. You're just scared to hit it. Come on you know you want to!

P.S. : If anyone can tell me what a **"knanigit"** is I'll give them a Blow Pop.

**DiscombobulatedDrummer and Mikki Amboree**


	2. Chapter 2

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:** Right now I'm sick with Strep Throat. I've been to school only for one day and a half. My best friend, Mikki Amboree sent me a birthday card with a "so bad it's funny" poem that she wrote. I'm going to change "Riddikulus" to "Moony," for plot and also my nickname is "Riddikulus" not "Moony". 

**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own Harry Potter and the characters that were so well thought of by J.K. Rowling. THIS IS NOT A SLASH! But if your mind goes that way, don't fight it!

**IN WALMART:**

Sirius is looking hard to find the right card for his best friend, Moony. He finds one that has a lot of glitter.

"Shiny," he yells as he grabs it and starts to read.

"Oh no! Oh Merlin no! No," he says as he drops the card. It reveals a rose inside of it that says "I love you."

He continues for (what seemed like hours) minutes trying to find just the right card. He spots one with big bold letters. He read it and throws his hands in the air.

"It says 'spot of tea'! I'll take it!" he yells once again and grabs the envelope.

**IN THE WAL MART PARKING LOT:** This is what Sirius writes

****

****

**ODE TO MOONY**

Moony you are feeling like crap.

Snot is having a party…..

In your nose….raise the roof,

You little boogies, raise the roof.

Fred the dragon is in your throat.

Everytime he sneezes, you hurt.

Stinks for you…

I wish I could help, but then I'd be sick too,

And you would be well….then you'd be as bored

as I am without you.

Okay, so this isn't a very "poetic"

poem, oh well it's the thought, right?

-- Sirius The (almost) poet

(squee)

**Mikki Amboree to DiscombobulatedDrummer**


	3. Muggle Breath

**Author's note:** I love school assemblies. When friends write to each other and that's when stories are born. Like this little one right here. Another chapter to Siriusly Riddikulus. Here is an update: I am portraying the sly Sirius Black and Mikki is portraying the obsessed James Potter. 

**Disclaimer:** Please, if I owned Harry Potter and crew this little story would have never happened. So don't sue.

Sirius: Hi!

James: That was creative….NOT!

Sirius: Pudding!

James: Lily! I bet she tastes better…

Sirius: You would taste Lily…(blank stare)

James: Of course I will! When we get married.

Sirius: To separate people…(trying to poke James in the head)

James: Sirius, if you poke my head, I will hex all your hair off! AND make it pink!

Sirius: You know I'll do worse. Snog Lily.

James: You wish! Not in your life! She's all mine! MINE! (eye twitching)

Sirius: Riiigghhtt….We could make this into an igloo. (looking around auditorium)

James: Way to change the subject! You went from talking about the alluring, beautiful, smart, cutiful, witty, hot, spicy, puddingful (WTC!), beautiful, red haired hotness, intelligent and tasty Lily to talking about igloos…..(looks at what is written down) I could have just described Remus….Except for the red haired part…and the hot part…

Sirius: (blank stare) He's puddingful….mmm……chocolately goodness in every bite.

James: I didn't know you were like that Pads….(shocked face) I know that you were flirtatious, but not like that.

Sirius: Like what? I was talking about pudding. What are you talking about?

James: (gulps) NOTHING!

Sirius: Hehe….if only Moony was here….

James: (sigh) Do you not pay attention to the lunar calendar? Oi…..

Sirius: I wondered why he was so grumpy. Then what is your problem? "Lily Depression"

James: This guy's breath smells like onions…trade seats with me Padfoot! Please! (pouting)

Sirius: No…..muggles…sheesh...

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**Author's ending notes**:  
**DD**: That was a boring assembly. Muggles what can you say?  
**Mikki:** Chicken butt!  
**DD:** True…very true.

**Please review for the sake of our insanity!  
**Discombobulated Drummer AND Mikki Amboree


	4. Sock Power!

**Author's notes:** Hello! Yes, once again here is another edition of "Siriusly Riddikulus." Yeah, this time I really thought of the plot. So yeah…. Anyways, I hope you like this chapter!  
Cheers,  
**DiscombobulatedDrummer**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything J. K. Rowling has created…except for the sock….unless she created the sock, then no.

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**Chapter 4: Sock Power**

Sirius: Hey Prongs! Check this out! I've been working on my muggle moves!

James: Alright then.

Sirius: (does a karate move and hits James in the head knocking his glasses off.)

Sirius: Ooops…

James: Yeah, "Oops" is right, you wanker!

Sirius: Those are fighting words!

James: Really? I just thought that they were words. (grabs Daily Prophet from Remus' bed.)

Sirius: What are you going to do with that?

James: (slaps paper into hand)

Sirius: Hey, you didn't take the comics out! Don't ruin them!

James: I'm going to ruin something else.

Sirius: (transforms and hides under Remus' bed)

James: Oh no, you are not getting away that easily. (finds a broom and starts poking under the bed at Padfoot.)

Padfoot: Grrr……(crunch!)

James: What the bloody….(looks at chewed broom.) How?

Padfoot: (spits out end of chewed broom at James' shin)

James: Ow! You bloody git!

Padfoot: (pops from under Remus' bed back into human form.) Why thank you!

----------Remus walks in----------

Remus: Hey, that's my sock! I wondered where it was. (takes sock off Sirius head.)

Remus: Eww….why is it wet? (holding sock by two fingers)

Sirius: I was getting bored…and hungry. (pinking lint from teeth)

Remus: Well, use your own socks as chew toys not mine. (throws sock back at Sirius as he leaves the room)

Sirius: Does this mean that I can keep it?

James: (hits Sirius on top of head with newspaper)

Sirius: (blinks) Ow….

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**Author's ending notes:** The stuff that I come up with during class...(sigh) Well, I hope you enjoyed that chapter. Please review! 

**DiscombobulatedDrummer**


	5. The Magical Coconuts

**Author's notes:** Yup! You get two chapters today! I have no idea where this subject came about, but I started singing the song and the story came to me. I hope you like it!

Cheers,  
**DiscombobulatedDrummer**

**Disclaimer:** Last time that I checked I don't own anything**.

* * *

Chapter 5: The Magical Coconuts **

Sirius: (SINGING)  
I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts  
There they are all standing in a row  
Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head  
Give them a twist a flick of the wrist  
That's what the showman said

James: Where are they?

Sirius: Where's what?

James: The coconuts. You said that you have a lovely bunch of coconuts and I want to see them!

Sirius: James….it's a (tries to pat James' shoulder)

James: Don't touch me! I WANT COCONUTS! (eye twitches)

Sirius: I don't have any!

James: YOU LIED! YOU LIED TO ME! LIAR!

Sirius: James…calm down mate..

James: I will not calm down until I have them. (pointing his wand at Sirius)

Sirius: Hey, come on mate. Would you let a bunch of coconuts stand between a good friendship?

James: Maybe…..Unless you tell me where they are…

Sirius: I said that I don't have any!

James: FINE! (flicks wand at Sirius)

Sirius: NOOO!

--------10 minutes later------

(Remus walks up to Sirius and shakes his head)

Remus: You sang the song again, Padfoot?

Sirius: I can't help that I like the song.

Remus: You are one disturbed man…but I do have to say that you have a lovely bunch of coconuts.

Sirius: Shut it! I can't see how women do this…

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**Author's ending notes:** My side really hurts. Wow, it took a lot for me to write this, because it's so funny. Well, please review and tell me what you think! 

**DiscombobulatedDrummer**


	6. James' Wish

**Author's notes: **This was written in French class as a note to my friend. I kinda switched things around, but a lot of it is from the note! I am one sad person. I'm very happy that everyone is liking this story. If you all like this check out another story that I am writing. "Pain is all but Equal." It doesn't have to do with the marauders, just Remus, but it's a good story to read. I'm still writing it.

**Disclaimer:** If I owned the marauders, Sirius would be president, James the vice president, Remus thearmy dude, and Peter would be. . . I dunno. I'd make himjanitor or something. But, alas I don't own them.J.K. Rowling does.

**(This is a note passing section, just in case someone gets confused.)**

**  
JAMES' WISH**

**Sirius:** PRONGS!  
I'm so bloody tired. Why did the professor make us do that project! I stayed up in the wee hours in the morning making it.  
I can't wait for Friday! (mysterious/giddy grin) Are you thinking about Lily? You have that look. Do you ever stop thinking about her? . . . .Apparently not.

**Remus:** Hello Prongs. Sirius is very upset. You are not paying attention to him. STOP POKING ME SIRIUS!

**Sirius:** Sorry mate! I couldn't help myself. You are just so "pokey-ful"

**Remus:** Prongs, please help me!

**Sirius:** Moony's so funny isn't he? My head itches. Darn fleas!

**Remus:** You are very random Padfoot.

**Sirius:** I know it. I'm just so full of it!

**Remus:** Full of something.

**Sirius:** Wouldn't you like to know? (raising eyebrows)

**Remus:** Not really

**Sirius:** You are no fun

**Remus:** Yes, I am.

**Sirius:** Ooo-Getting frisky aren't we?

**Remus:** Oi, Padfoot! I am not getting "frisky"

**Sirius:** Riigghht….I see the twinkle in your eye.

**Remus:**You must be looking at Prongs there.

**Sirius:** Yeah, he is one obsessive person.

(James snatches the note)

**James:** I am not obsessive! I am just meekly interested in certain subjects.

**Remus:** A certain subject.

**James:** Yes, one Lily Potter.

**Sirius:** POTTER!

**James:** EVANS! THAT'S WHAT I SAID!

**Sirius:** Lily Potter

**James:** Yes, one day my wish will come true.

**Author's ending notes: Please read and review!**

**DD**


	7. Cookie Madness

**Author's notes:** Ok, this little chapter begain in the lunch room with two of my friends. One of them was begging for a cookie and the other wouldn't give it to her. So the beginning is similar to what they said. The rest of it my friend and I wrote in French. She has no idea that it was my plan to put it as chapter 7 of "Siriusly Riddikulus." I'm good like that. Woah, you all are good. Y'all are getting 2 chapters in 2 days! Or I might just be a good writer. Who knows! I hope you all like this chapter!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Marauders. I wish I did. I would keep them hostage in my room...no my closet. Yeah, that's it. But I suppose J.K. Rowling has them in her closet , because I don't.

* * *

**  
COOKIE MADNESS**

Sirius: Give me a cookie!

James: No!

Sirius: Give me a cookie!

James: No!

Sirius: GIVE-ME-A-COOKIE!

James: NO!

Sirius: Please? (puppy dog eyes)

James: ok….hang on…..keep hanging….nope never mind.

Sirius: WHAT? Why must the cookie corrupt my mind?

James: Shhh….you can't here it calling you unless you are quiet! (Puts finger to mouth)

Sirius: Shut it!

James: Shh….the cookie speaks: "EAT ME! EAT ME!"

Sirius: (falls on knees) WHY?

Cookie: You need me!

Sirius: ( Sees a BIG cookie talking to him)

Sirius: Woah….you are a big...cookie!

Cookie: EAT ME!

Sirius: OKAY! (jumps on cookie making it fall to the floor)

Cookie: AHHHHH!

Sirius: You…taste…odd…..like…leather. A familiar taste….hmm….

James: (slapping Sirius in the head) Dude give me back my shoe!

Sirius: But it's so good! A little over baked, but nevertheless.

James: Still it is my shoe! Understand me! S-H-O-E!

Sirius: Fine! (throws shoe back to James and hits him in the head)

James: Ow! (rambles unknown language. Possibly Latin)

Sirius: Ha ha! Serves you right! (puts hand in pocket and pulls out cookie)

Sirius: Oh my gosh! Dude! It's a cookie!

"Lil" Cookie: Don't eat me.

Sirius: Aw…but little cookie, I'm hungry.

"Lil" Cookie: Then I must go. (disapperates)

Sirius: (falls back on knees) NOOO!

James: You are seriously odd.

Sirius: I know.

Sirius: (with small tears falling down his face) I'm going to miss you cookie.

**Author's ending notes**: Please review! I hope you laughed. Well, at least chuckled, then I would be happy.

**DD**


End file.
